War changes you
by Eric Border
Summary: Some people say that Joker went to war before he went insane. Oneshot.


**Some people say that the Joker had a background in the army, this is my version of that kind of background. Not for sensitive readers. I listened to the song 'tautou' by Brand New while writing.**

" _I don't want to set the world on fire_

 _I just want to start a flame in your heart_

 _In my heart I have but one desire_

 _And that one is you, no other will do"_

The song played in the background as Jeannie prepared dinner, she couldn't hear the front door open over the sound. She squealed when she was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled against someone's chest, she was about to scream when she heard the familiar sound of her husband's laugh "Jack! You scared me half to death!" she said trying to sound mad but couldn't hide the smile on her face.

"Scaredy cat," he said laughing back at her as he let her go.

She turned around to look at him "You genuinely scared me Jack," she continued.

"Aww," he purred grabbing his backpack that he had thrown on the counter and pulling a red rose out "I'm sorry," he said giving her his best puppy dog eyes.

She smiled back, taking the rose and holding it up to her nose "You are a regular charmer Mr Napier."

"Only for you," he replied leaning in to kiss her tenderly, she squealed again when she heard him brush everything of the counter not caring if it went on the floor.

"Jack!" she gasped as he lifted her up onto the counter, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her harder, they paused for a moment for him to take his shirt of before leaning back in "Oh Jack," she sighed, kissing him in return.

Later that night Jeanie was sitting on the couch with her laptop, Jack came and sat down next to them with both of their plates "What are you doing?" he asked turning on the TV.

"I'm working on the end of my book," she replied distractedly.

"Tell me about it," he said.

"Well it's about a girl who gets in a car accident and is sent to hospital in critical condition but-"she was cut off when his phone rang suddenly.

He looked down at the caller ID and frowned "Sorry, I have to take this," he said getting off the couch and answering the phone as he walked into the other room.

He came back in a few minutes later and looked at her guiltily, she shook her head "No, you said you were finished."

"I have to go, just this one last time," he said desperately.

"What if this 'one last time' is the time you get shot?" she yelled, tears coming to her eyes.

He sat down next to her letting her cry into his shoulder "I'll come back, I promise."

"You don't know that," she whimpered and he had to agree with her.

-One month later-

"Damn, it's a lot hotter here then it was in Gotham," Jack's friend and fellow soldier Mark Sinberg commented as they walked beside the armoured trucks and cars. Their secondary guns were strapped on their back, the barrels towering over their head, they carried their primary weapon.

Jack looked around at the barren dessert "Of course it's hotter here you idiot," he laughed.

"No rain here either," Mark continued drinking from his canteen.

"Man, the heats getting to you."

"Hey what's up with Doug?" Mark asked suddenly, Jack looked up at the man a few yards in front of them "He's been acting weird all day, looking around a lot and shit, like he's up to something."

"I don't know," Jack answered "Hey, Doug!" he called and the man turned around with wide eyes "You alright mate?!"

He nodded shakily, gripping his weapon as he turned forward to keep moving "That's fucking weird man," Jack heard Mark say behind him.

"You think we should tell the captain?" Jack murmured.

Mark shook his head "Nah, he's got better things to be getting on with then a nervous trooper, he just needs to learn that shit happens."

"How do you deal with the shit that happens out here?" Jack asked.

"I just…smile and pretend everything is a joke, my mom always said a smile made everything better," Mark said, Jack nodded slowly.

They continued on the road until Jack heard the captain yelled "Structure ahead! Joker, scope it out!"

Jack jogged ahead of the group switching his weapons as he did so, in the army you had to be efficient. Many people also got a nickname, Mark was nicknamed 'bullseye' but Jack was stuck with Joker and he hated the name but once it get to the captain, there's no getting rid of it. He laid down one the hard gravel after setting up his sniper rifle and began to survey the city ahead of them, he picked up his radio "It's clear on the outside, windows are clear," he continued looking but found no one "Sir there is no one outside the city," he concluded.

"Ok, move in!" he heard the captain shout as he switched his guns again.

Mark caught up to him "Good job, Joker," he teased.

"Shut up, asshole," Jack muttered but couldn't hide his grin.

"Come on, it's not that bad, I like it," he chuckled.

"Sure," Jack said as they reached the broken down city.

They began surveying the rooms and taking any males of military age, they had almost finished when Mark noticed something "Hey Joker!"

Jack came out of the room he was searching "Yeah?"

"Where's Doug?"

Jack looked around and now noticed that he wasn't there as well "I don't know man."

"You keep going, I'll take a couple guys and have a look for him," Mark said before leaving and gathering up a group of eight men from the idling group outside.

Jack was finally finished, he and the rest of his group came out of the buildings walking towards the clearing in the city where the rest of the troop was. As they approached he saw the search group Mark had put together, they had found Doug and were talking to the captain but to Jack something still seemed off, Doug was looking around rapidly still. Jack pulled out his sniper binoculars and zoomed in on Doug, he spotted a small red flashing light that was only just peeking out of Doug's vest. Jack threw his stuff down and began sprinting towards the group as fast as he could "Mark!" he yelled.

The group turned to see him a few hundred yards away "What?!" he yelled back.

"It's Doug! He's got a bomb!" Jack yelled, he threw off his vest and belt, relieving some of the weight "Get out of there!" He continued, gritting his teeth as he ran faster. Doug, who now realised he had been found out, stripped his vest, dropped into on the ground and ran. The light in the vest started flashing faster but before the men had any time to react the vest expanded into a massive explosion, killing all of the men around it…including Mark and Jack was furious " _NO!_ " he roared but instead of going to see to the men which other soldiers were rushing to, he set his sights on Doug who was momentarily distracted by the explosion.

He sprinted towards the traitor faster then he'd ever ran before, all the rage, pain and adrenalin building up. All that mattered at this point in time, was killing Doug. Jason one of the men checking on the injured saw Jack run past "Joker?! Where are you going?!"

Jack yelled back without turning "It's his fault! He killed Mark!"

He could hear people behind him but he ignored it, quickly catching up to Doug who now had begun running away. Jack tackled him to the ground, slamming into Doug's midsection, he quickly straddled him and grabbed his shirt, punching him with all the strength he could muster "Joker!" he heard behind them.

"You. Mother. Fucker." He yelled angrily with each punch.

The captain, who had managed to escape the blast, with the help of four other men, pulled Jack of the smaller man. Doug was already bruised and swollen, blood running down his face. He cried in pain when he was shoved into the ground and handcuffed before being dragged by his collar back to the camp "Joker?" captain asked in slight concern when he saw the young man staring at the ground with a blank expression and became more concerned when he started chuckling "Napier? You okay?"

Jack suddenly smiled so wide it disturbed him "Of _course_ I'm fine, I have to be fine don't I?" he said with wide manic eyes ' _I just…smile and pretend everything is a joke'._

An hour later the captain called Jason over when he was watching Jack laugh to himself silently in front of the fire at camp, arms around his knees, rocking back and forth, hiding his face "Keep an eye on him," he said to Jason "I'm going to get him sent home tomorrow."

"Does he know that?" Jason asked.

"No, look just make sure he doesn't get himself killed," he muttered before walking back to the tents.

Jason sat next to Jack "Hey, man, how you feeling about it?" he asked gently, he didn't want to push him too much, his head was fucked up enough already.

"About what?" Jack asked, he had stopped laughing but his eyes were wide and bloodshot making him unsettling.

"Uhh, about Mark…you know dying?" Jason said slowly.

"What do you mean? He's right there," he chuckled pointing to Mark who was sitting across from them.

Jason frowned in concern "There's no one there Jack,"

Jack suddenly saw Mark vanish before his eyes "Wait…where did he go?" he asked standing up "I bet he's hiding somewhere," said standing up and walking out into the dark "Mark! Mark!"

Jason followed "Jack, shut up, the guys are sleeping!" he whisper yelled.

Jack looked at him and was about to answer when he heard a voice in his head speak up _"he's just trying to keep you from finding him,"_ to this Jack turned back and continued yelling "Mark!"

The captain came out of his tent, he looked like he was ready to go to sleep "What's going on here?!"

"Jack thinks Mark is out there," he said gesturing to the pitch black city.

"Mark! Get out here you mother fucker!" Jack continued.

Men were beginning to emerge from their tents to see what was going on, the captain walked up to Jack and grabbed him by the shoulders "Look here Napier!" he said pointing to his eyes, Jack slowly obeyed "Sinberg is dead, alright?! Pull yourself together! He was a great man but you can't let yourself fall apart over the fact that he's dead!"

Jack continued to argue while Jason walked off into his tent and pulled his satellite phone and dialled a number "Hello?" he heard from the other side.

"Hi, Jeannie, it's Jason," he said.

"Hi Jason," she said cheerfully "How are you?"

"Could be better but I need you to talk some sense into Jack," Jason said quickly.

She began to panic "Why what's wrong?"

"Mark got blown up, he's dead. Jack saw it happen and now he's saying that Mark's still here and all sorts of gibberish, I need you to talk to him but be calm or you'll work him up again."

There was silence, the only noise was Jeannie sniffing a couple times "Ok, I'll talk to him."

Jason ran back out where people were trying to stop Jack from running out of camp "Jack, I've got your wife on the phone, she's gonna talk to you, ok?"

Jack seemed to calm down and nodded numbly as he took the phone "Jeannie?" he murmured.

"Jack, what's going on, baby?" she asked gently.

He started to cry while Jason was shooing the other men back to their tents "Mark's dead," he gasped.

"Oh…Jack, I'm sorry, honey."

"I keep seeing him everywhere, I don't know if it's real or not," he whispered as if he didn't want the remaining men to hear "I think I'm going crazy."

"What do you mean, honey?"

"I keep hearing this voice, it keeps telling me that Mark is alive and that I should hurt people."

"Ok, baby, you going to come home tomorrow and we'll sort it out ok? Just try to get some sleep."

"Ok…bye," he said.

"I love you."

"Love you too," he whispered before hanging up the phone and handing it back to Jason.

The next thing Jack knew he was sitting on a plan with about forty other injured soldiers, he looked around rapidly "Where am I?"

A woman came up to him, she looked like a war doctor with a medical badge on her arm "I've told you this a hundred times Mr Napier, we're on the plan home, ok?"

Jack was about to unbuckle himself to stand up when he felt that he could lift his arms, he looked down to see his wrist and ankles were restrained. He started pulling at them "Get me out of here."

"I can't do that till we land Mr Napier, you were too violent, you can't be trusted," she explained softly.

"Violent?" he asked confused ' _They call it violence, I call it fun,'_ the voice spoke "Shut up," Jack growled.

The woman walked away to help strap the rest of the passengers down _'I'm beginning to get irritated about being talked down to like that'_

"Shut up, you're not even real," Jack responded.

' _Oh I am, just only to you.'_

Once Jack was off the plan he almost fell to ground when Jeannie hugged him ' _Kiss her you idiot,'_ he grabbed her cheeks and brought her mouth to his in a tender kiss "Hi, baby," she said hugging him again "How are you?"

' _Tell her you're fine,'_ the voice demanded"Ok, I guess," he said.

She frowned at his lack of excitement, usually he was ecstatic to see her, she then noticed that behind them they were unloading the luggage, including Mark's body "Come on lets go," she said hastily.

' _She's hiding something,'_ he immediately turned around to see what she had been trying to distract him from, he felt a stab of pain in his chest when he saw the words Mark Sinberg written on the side. He went to run over to it when he felt Jeannie grab his arm and hold him back "Let go!" he roared.

"No, Jack, we have to go home now!" she cried, he wasn't acting like her husband.

' _Get her off!"_ the voice yelled "I said let go!" he repeated throwing her to the ground. He stopped his rampage when he saw his wife burst into tears not attempting to get off the ground at all ' _Kick her, she deserves it,'_ Jack shook his head "Shut up," he muttered.

Jeannie looked at him through her tears "No one said anything Jack."

' _Bash her head in, our life will be so much easier,'_ he started breathing heavily "Shut up!" he yelled, people who were helping the injured out of the plane started running towards the situation as Jeannie stood up and backed away a bit ' _Won't it be fun? Not a care in the world? Just let me take the wheel,'_ Jack shook his head, tears coming to his eyes, he just wanted everything to go back to normal " _SHUT UP!"_ he finally yelled before one of the soldiers helping on the plane grabbed him from behind and lifted him off his feet.

The man struggled to hold Jack as he kicked his legs and thrashed from side to side trying to escape but he suddenly felt tired and stopped moving as his eyes drooped, he was confused about what happened ' _they sedated us you moron,'_ the last thing Jack was his wife's upset and concerned face before everything went black.

"…Jack?...Jack, are you awake?" the voice faded in, Jack opened his eyes a bit to see a bright light shining into his eyes "Jack, can you hear me?"

"W-where am I?" he asked looking around, he saw Jeannie sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room sleeping, it must have been late.

"You're in the hospital, you blacked out and in the morning we're going to perform a brain scan ok?" the nurse smiled politely ' _they won't find anything, brain scans only show organic damage,'_

"Shut up," Jack murmured, the nurse frowned at him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

Jack looked at the tools beside his bed ' _Kill her, kill her and get out of here,'_ he shook his head "No I won't," he said to himself making the nurses frown deepen.

"Won't what?" she pressed.

He looked up at her "He's telling me to hurt people," he whispered "He wants me to kill you."

The nurse suddenly looked more frightened then concerned, she glanced at the tools and rolled the trolley into the hallway and going to find a doctor. Jack relaxed and looked over at his only family "Jeannie," he called standing up from the bed, he wasn't injured, he could move around fine.

He noticed that Jeannie must bring some of his clothes from home because he was wearing a pair of pyjama pants and his baggy hoodie. He shuffled to the couch and nudged his wife's arm gently, she opened her eyes immediately and gasped, jumping up and hugging him "Jack!"

"Hey, baby," he murmured managing a smile.

"I'm so glad you're ok," she gasped holding onto him tightly.

"How long was I out?" he asked sitting down on the armchair and pulling her onto his lap.

"Almost a week, it's been six days, they thought you might have been in a coma if you didn't wake up," she explained.

"Did I miss his funeral?" he asked.

She sighed "No you didn't, Mark's parents were very kind and when I explained the situation to them they moved the funeral back a couple of days," she said and smiled kissing him softly.

He looked gazed at her in adoration, her bright blue eyes looking back into his dark brown ones and forgot about everything of the past two weeks. Mark dying, the traitor, the voice in his head and his wish to hurt people disappeared and it seemed like it was only him and Jeannie. He smiled genuinely and kissed her deeply, pulling her further onto his lap so that her knees were beside his hips. They suddenly heard a gasp from the door and turned to see the nurse whose cheeks were flushed with embarrassment "Uhh…we're ready for the scan," she said awkwardly and rushed off.

As the voice had said, they didn't find anything but he was given a mix of medications that made him out of it most of the time and either it silenced the voice or he couldn't notice it anymore. He was given anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, anti-psychotics and sedatives for emergencies.

"Hi Jack, how are you?" asked Mark's girlfriend after his funeral as he watched the coffin being covered in dirt.

He didn't respond or even look at her, Jeannie who was talking to Mark's parents noticed the situation and jogged over to explain "I'm sorry, he's getting used to his medication so he's a little bit unresponsive," she turned to Jack "Jack, do you want to say hi to Sarah?"

He numbly looked at Sarah "Hi," he murmured but went back to watching the coffin be buried with a frown on his face.

Sarah looked at him in pity "What wrong with him?" she whispered to Jeannie who led them away from him.

"It's a kind of schizophrenia but mixed with PTSD, it's pretty horrible but he's trying," she sighed "I've got to get him home, bye," she hugged Sarah and walked back to Jack "Come on, home time," she told him but he stood still "Jack come on please, don't make this harder than it has to be," he reluctantly obeyed and let her walk him to the car.

A few hours later they were sitting at the table having dinner "It's good," he said quietly.

"Thank you," she said smiling "How are you feeling today? Has Joker been bothering you?"

They had decided to give the voice a name, Jack chose to call him the Joker, apparently the voice liked it "Not really…" he trailed off.

"What did he say?"

"He said I should kill Sarah because she said there was something wrong with me," he said.

"She didn't mean it like that, baby," she said softly.

Before he could respond the power when out "I'll go check the fuse box outside, it's probably just lose," she said and stood walking outside. When she got to the box she saw that there was nothing wrong with it "Must be at the districts power," she said to herself, she decided to walk to the main power to check it out and see if she needed to call somebody but when she got there she noticed something sticking out of the transformer. She got closer to it and saw at it was in the shape of a bat "What the hell?" she whispered.

She got closer to it and grabbed onto it to pull it out but the electricity went through the metal of the object and electrocuted her. Jack had come around the corner to see what was taking so long and rushed over to her when he saw her jerking from the electricity. He quickly grabbed a wooden plank from a broken fence and pushed her away from the object, she fell onto the ground and he was at her side in a second "Jeannie?" he gasped and checked for her pulse but he found none. She was dead.

He began crying and held onto her body ' _She's dead, getting your tears all over her aint going to help, look,"_ Jack slowly looked to his wife's hand which was still holding the metal bat symbol, he picked it up and held it close to his face ' _let me take care of this'_ Joker said with a small giggle, he slowly nodded "Okay.," he said and suddenly started laughing "A smile makes everything better," he chuckled lifting the razor sharp metal symbol to his mouth.

" _I just…smile and pretend everything is a joke, my mom always said a smile made everything better,"_

END

 **Before you try to convince me or follow the story, no I am not continuing it, it is a one shot and nothing is going to be added. Sorry about any mistakes in the writing and if you want to see Joker talk to Batman about his wife's death, I have written a story about it called 'Drinking your sorrows away'.**


End file.
